So far so good....

Well i did manage to get up and get dressed!!!!! This is huge for me today!!!! So far today i have found out that my kiddos are not particularly found of this holiday and pretty much just go along with it for my sake. Which really kid of saddens my heart!!!!! If i allow myself to and i try not to... i guess it was the same way with my x-husband. I am going to miss those great hamburgers he would grill... I got to thinkin that i better get on with life soon. Kelly will be leaving in a few years and then it will be just me and Kam.... not a bad thing ....but wow then when he leaves it will be just me.... Ever stop and wonder what your purpose is???? Well i am pretty sure mine is to be able to enjoy these children. They are the only thing by far that i have ever done right!!!! Dont get me wrong i have had a good life... some things i would change.... i would be nicer if i could start again... somethings i wouldnt... even if i knew it would cause me alot of pain.... but those babies.... they were the reason that God breathed life into me!!!! I love my family...every last single one!!!! I am getting pretty hungry so i am gonna go and try to grill some burgers which will be a challenge for me because i totally suck at cookin!!!! Always have.... my mother and i had this perfect arrangement when i was a teen... i cleaned and she cooked!!!! and she was like the best cook ever!!!! ummm her potato salad was the bomb.... i tried to make it for easter and my GodFather thought the mashed potatoes were really good!!!! Yeah.... see what i mean????